tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871433400980375714.post3914621919656653308..comments2024-02-20T21:39:49.265-08:00Comments on I Am Neurotic And I Need Help...: It's Like A Disease....Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10237058236131496554noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871433400980375714.post-9894306880099928862014-10-03T07:56:52.102-07:002014-10-03T07:56:52.102-07:00I totally "get" all you are saying. But ...I totally "get" all you are saying. But still, I find my frustrating relationship with my father has been improved by writing his "story". Every time I write about a topic, it becomes introspective and I learn about myself and how I am affected by the topic. I don't think it can ever hurt.<br /><br />Kids - mine seem much more on the ball than I did when I was their age. Much more mature. Not sure why this is, but I know that we spend more time doing stuff as a family than I did with my parents when I was little. My daughter is clearly the smartest one in the family at this point.CP Riderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10409012484387148474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871433400980375714.post-37454248745483841572014-10-03T03:37:40.111-07:002014-10-03T03:37:40.111-07:00CP, my sons are 12 and almost 8. They do know I bl...CP, my sons are 12 and almost 8. They do know I blog. Since I write about mental illness they haven't really read it because it isn't interesting to them at this point. Lol. They do know my writing name and they are aware that I write but I haven't really discussed the abuse issue with them. Mostly because the abuser has been dead for a long time and they did not know him. I feel it is not my place to write all that I know about what he did. That would be my mother's place since she is the only victim of his still alive. Those would be her memories to share and her story to tell. I just have my story, which was growing up watching a sexual abuse victim trying to deal with flashbacks, PTSD, anger, grief, and suicidal tendencies. Even through all of that she remained an excellent and protective parent of me. She still struggles with flashbacks and issues. I know many stories because for a long time we were all each other had. However, I wrestle with honesty vs, age appropriate conversation. Yes, my children know that there are bad people out there. They are too young to understand the emotions of abuse or the emotions of being related to an abuser, having love for him because he is your family member and yet hating him as well. It is all very confusing and painful and it is my belief, they are too young to deal with this information now. I think a little bit of information in little spurts is better than them being bombarded with things they couldn't possibly take all in yet. I will tell them one day and I am sure one day they will read this. I am just trying to preserve the world they know right now for as long as I can before they have to grow up too fast and see the ugly scars that our family has in it. I am sure, that this hard conversation will happen, it is just a matter of time. I hate that this is something they have to know. CP thank you so much for your support. It means a lot. I had no idea our children were so close in age. 12 years olds are a trip aren't they? Sometimes I am dumbfounded by the the things they say like they are 12 going on 30, lol.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10237058236131496554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8871433400980375714.post-17678323465479889162014-10-02T09:19:22.090-07:002014-10-02T09:19:22.090-07:00It's so sad, and it's so common. I believe...It's so sad, and it's so common. I believe writing is the best possible way to process a situation like this. It will help give you clarity. You say that you haven't written it all down yet. I encourage you to do so. You don't mention how old your son is. My kids are 12 and 9 and they both know I blog. They both know my alias. At some point they will just decide to read my blog, and I'm sure that is when the hard discussion will start. It's part of 'putting it all out there.'CP Riderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10409012484387148474noreply@blogger.com