Friday, April 12, 2013
Did I Turn It Off?
The coffee pot was my nemesis today. I was excited to go to my kid's school to see my oldest perform in an earth day play.(Yes I know it is not earth day today, but I am not in charge of the schedule.) I was made up and ready to go. My dad came over and picked me up. I couldn't wait to see how the play was going to be, and then it hit me. Did I turn off the coffee pot? The anxiety rose. I could feel the bile in my throat. I wanted to scream. I do not remember turning the coffee pot on but I usually do every morning. I did not remember turning it off. I don't even think I had coffee this morning. It really didn't matter whether I had remembered or not because the OCD was blatantly waving it's ugly head in my face and I was sunk. I knew that if I didn't check I would not be able to enjoy the school play. Thankfully my dad is awesome and turned the car around so I could check.We were already half way to the school. He looked at me and said "OCD?" and I said yes. Although he was magnificent about it, I still felt the over whelming embarrassment and guilt that I had to have him turn the car around.
Yes, I checked and I admit it. I usually don't give in to my OCD but I do have a simple coffee pot that does not turn itself off. I could just envision the liquid boiling out, the glass breaking and fire spewing out of the top of the coffee pot. I was afraid of burning my house down. I got out of the car, walked up the steps, battled my neighbors cat who believes he lives in my house but dislikes my actual cats, and unlocked the door only to find that I never had turned on the coffee pot in the first place.UGH!
So yes today, I lost the battle of checking. I feel like I let myself down a little bit. I usually don't even entertain my OCD thoughts. I guess one time in the last five years is acceptable. Oh well, the play was terrific and adorable as all school plays with your kids in them are. I was able to relax after I unplugged the coffee pot that wasn't on. I had a great time. My kid was great as all the other children were great too. I guess that is all I have to blab about today.
I know that sometimes I might falter in my battle with OCD. Occasionally I may slip up and do a compulsion. I will try my damnedest not to do it again. Sigh. Stupid coffee pots.