I Did Not Panic.....Sorta.

Sorry I seem to be writing later and later on my usual writing days. I have been down a computer and four people sharing two computers has severely limited my ability to write on schedule. Thankfully, I have ordered a new one, so hopefully I will be back up and running more efficiently sooner rather than later.

Everyone in my house is sick..... I did not panic. No, as usual I whipped out the Lysol spray and anointed the house with it's holy germ killing properties. I scrubbed the handles and knobs. I wiped down the light switches and keyboards. I was convinced I would eradicate what can only be described as the Flaming Gungamo.

It first started when my husband got home. Stuffy nose, fever, and just in general feeling like hell. Sweaty exhausted heap of a man just desperately trying to breathe through his nose.....Out came the anti-bacterial gel....I did not panic.

Then my oldest was struck down. He now makes a high pitched whistle when he tries to breathe through his nose. (I wonder if the neighbor's dogs can hear it?) No amount or decongestant or blowing his nose seems to help. He feels tired and cranky and horrid...I started dolling out medications and home made chicken soup like consolation prizes....I did not panic.

Then my youngest said he felt bad....and still I did not panic, sorta. I got this, I thought. I can clean it away. I can degerm my home. I can spray all of it away with cleaners and soap....as long....as I....don't let them breathe on me and I wash my hands often enough....and so far it has worked. Until tonight. When my oldest coughed in my face. Now I'm screwed.

I tend to be over dramatic. It's a charming quality, I think, except when it's not. And now is not the time to be all theatrical, but I can't help but feel like I am going down like it's 1340 and my house is infested with fleas carried on rats. Yes, that was a Bubonic Plague reference. As I look at my family dropping like flies around me, I get a sense of how horrible that must have been. I mean, my family is just dropping like flies onto the couch and into their beds with the common cold...I can't imagine how painfully devastating it was for those that lived through the Black Plague.

Not so fun fact: it is believed to have killed 45-50% of the European population in a four year period......and people wonder why I am terrified of germs.


And I am not just terrified of germs or the Bubonic Plague. I am terrified of all sickness. You name it, I am petrified that is out there, lurking in the shadows, waiting....Some people are afraid of horror movie villains.  Ax wielding murderers hiding in the attic....I am afraid of a cold. Ebola, Aids, Gangrene, Tuberculous, Meningitis, Staph infections, the Flu, hell allergies even. Yea, I said it. I am afraid of allergies. I mean, since we are being honest here, I am pretty much scared of every single illness, bacteria infested, germ laden thing out there. Terrified. Petrified. Consumed by the fear. It dwells in my everyday thoughts. It floats around in my brain when I am walking to the bus stop, to the mail box, to the store.

I don't want to touch things. I don't want to breathe the air near strangers. I have seriously asked my husband if I had asked for a gas mask and those 3 inch thick rubber gloves people use when dealing with toxic chemicals, if I would have gotten them...Ya , know because I would have been over the moon for something like that. It wouldn't go over well at parties or the dinner table, but you have to start somewhere, right?

I get the feeling like I am being tainted or infected constantly when I go out. When I touch something my mind deems it to be dirty. Sometimes it is a table, a hand rail, a door knob. Sometimes it is simply the air I am walking in.....I mean, how is the air dirty? I know that  it isn't rational and yet here I am. Wishing I had that gas mask I saw at that army surplus store in the flea market four months ago....

If I had the mask, my oldest would have coughed on it instead of my face, and this disjointed post would have never been written and I wouldn't be doomed to wallow on the couch for the next three days whistling through my nose and feeling like I was hit by a bus....Oh well, you can't win everything can you?


Till next time, stay safe, have a good day, and wear a gas mask if you have one....lest you end up like me. Crazy and now infected by the Flaming Gungamo...

Neurotic Nelly