The Truth Is......

It seems to me that whenever a tragedy happens people rush to judgment. They rush to make excuses for one's behavior. They use words like mental illness to describe what could have been the possible culprit. I think it is to make a gap in humanity. To make it seem like normal people could never do what these people have done. I think it is to make others sleep better at night. To label someone who has hurt others so that they don't have to look at themselves and the possibility that they could do something like that as well. It isn't a diagnosis to understand what has happened. It is a diagnosis to separate themselves from those that have harmed. A label. An umbrella word. Infecting everyone who has a label even though it is unwarranted.

The man who drove the plane into the mountain and killed 150 people was labeled depressed. Yet he was on anti-psychotics. Depression isn't psychosis but most people don't know that there is a huge difference. That anti-psychotics are given to psychotics not typical depressed people. The media seems oblivious as they spread out the might be's and why's someone might do such a horrid thing. Someone said depression and now even though, we have no actual proof of his depression, depressed people are getting the side eye. Now, everyone with depression is suspect of being a possible mass murderer. Not because statistics support such a bias claim but because the media and ignorant people are in such a rush to make an excuse for inexcusable behavior. It wouldn't happen if he had a heart problem but because it was a mental problem, it is okay to publicly speculate.

Calling someone's diagnosis something that it is not, is like calling someone's toe cancer, finger cancer. Yes, they are both cancers but they are different cancers. Just like calling someone's mental illness diagnosis  by a different mental illness diagnosis name. They are both mental illness but they are different mental illnesses. It is not one size fits all.


This happens every time some person does the unthinkable. Adam Lanza murdered innocent children and teachers and before the investigation was even finished he had a label. Aspergers. No actual documentation of his disorder and yet it was spread over the news and media as fact. Why? Because it made people feel safer that his evil had a name. A name they put on him to make it seem like his actions were because of an illness.  It did not matter that Aspergers is not violent usually. It didn't matter that the statistics don't support what the media claimed. All that mattered is that it sold more papers, got more views, and riled people up against mental illness. All that mattered is that there was a label to assign. And so they did.

And in doing so, such a label brought a great deal of discomfort to good people that suffer from Aspergers. They were all looked at like they were capable of such horror. They did not deserve such judgment.

There seems to be a great deal of speculation as we reel with emotions of such horrid events and yet what seems to be lacking is a great deal of truth. Truth that sets people straight. Truth that sets people free.

The truth is, people suffering from mental illnesses are more than twice as likely to be victims of a violent crime rather than to be the person committing one. The truth is, that depressed people are far more likely to be a danger to themselves rather than to others. The truth is, that the media slanders the mentally ill anytime something tragic happens because it fits the general consensus that it is us against them and that we are somehow dangerous or different. The truth is that bad people can and do bad things and not all of those people did bad things because of mental illness. Sometimes they just do what they do and no one else with any diagnosis that may be similar has anything to prove. We are not the monsters that go bump into the night. We are just people. We are not dangerous anymore than anyone else.  This isn't our shame to bear. It's their's because they did the unspeakable and devastating things, not us.

The truth is, that mental illness is promoted in falsehoods, quoted with misconceptions, and wrapped in a cloak of invisibility and stigma. If we want to get people the help they need, than we have to stop labeling people that hurt others by their diagnoses. Which only promotes more ignorance and stigma. We have to see that these people did an unforgivable thing but in no way does it mean that other people with those same diagnosis need to be suspect or feared. No one deserves to be punished by other people's actions and no group of people should be sullied by the horrid acts of the few that do not represent us. And I urge you to remember that, as the media continues to peddle it's misconstrued propaganda and sensationalism of our illnesses.

Neurotic Nelly

Misconceptions of the Mentally Ill

I think I am loosing my pea picking mind. As my son pointed out, you can't loose anything you never had, Mom. Sigh, sarcasm that kid, I don't know where he gets it.

A couple of days ago I was told by someone that everyone had a little OCD. Eye roll.....My reaction was one of anger and frustration. I wanted to punch something. I can't punch anything because my middle finger has been broken and is in the process of healing. Albeit, it is kind of gnarled and crooked still.

Then I realized I can not be angry by this person's slip up. It is not their fault they have been misguided or led  to wrong conclusions. There is still misinformation out there. I feel like my posts can be redundant and repetitive on this subject, but apparently I need to keep talking about it.

I have never met anyone that is proud to have OCD. We are too busy sitting in a back room somewhere knitting ourselves a sweater out of our tears and guilt. We are proud that we are learning to live our lives with  this disorder, but certainly no one is proud to have this pain in our lives.

One would never say everyone is a little bipolar or everyone is a little schizophrenic. If they do, I have never heard of such. It really burns my butt. Seriously, it irritates me. I try very hard to put out the correct information out there without being snarky. Sometimes it is an up hill battle.

So  I am going to list some common misconceptions, bare with me.

 Anal retentive or quirky people. Some people are anal retentive and quirky. This does not mean they suffer from OCD. OCD is an anxiety disorder that may or may not have symptoms of being organizational or liking things in a certain way. If there is no identifiable anxiety then it is not OCD. If there is no intrusive thoughts or obsessions then it is not OCD. Some people just like to be orderly. There is nothing wrong with that and it does not mean that there is mental illness involved. Everyone has quirks not OCD. It is not called, Quirky compulsive disorder, after all.

Awkward people. There are a lot of people that are awkward in social situations. They are awkward in their clothing choices, body movements, and awkward in their own skin. Awkwardness is not mental illness. There is nothing that says being odd means you are mentally ill. It might mean there are self esteem issues that might require therapy. Therapy is not for just people with mental illness. Self esteem issues, in itself, is not a mental illness. Although, most of us with mental illness struggle with self esteem issues. Some awkward people do have mental illness but not all and therefore we can not just assume that they do. Some people are just awkward and there is nothing wrong with that.

Angry people. Some people have anger issues. Anger issues is generally a learned response. There are always exceptions to the rule. It is good to have therapy if you suffer from anger management problems. Anger ,in itself, does not mean that you have mental illness. We can not assume that if you have an anger problem that you have a mental illness unless you have been diagnosed with one. Not all angry people are mentally ill.

Manipulative Asswholes.  Some people are manipulative, self serving, selfish, asswholes. This is their personality. They want what they want when they want it. This is a personality flaw and not mental illness. They can be users and emotional vampires. They are predators of the weak and nice. They take and take and take. Yes, there could be a mental illness in some of them, but guess what? Some people are just jerks. We can not assume that because they are rude, mean, narcissistic, or manipulative that they are that way because they are mentally ill. Some people are just asshats.

 Bat (expletive for poop) crazy. Some people are so far gone in their illness or lives, they have lost the will to feel to the point they are bat (expletive for poop) crazy. They most likely have had some form of mental illness but have lost the will to be treated. They no longer have normal human emotions. They do not care of consequences or feel any empathy towards others.These people are the most damaging to the normal mentally ill. The media jumps on the mental illness diagnosis band wagon, when bat (expletive for poop) crazy people become violent and do horrible things. None of these, by the way have been diagnosed with a particular mental illness. If they have, it has not been released to the public. There have been rumors and these are damaging as well. It promotes false fear and stigmatizes us in the mental illness community. People become unfairly afraid of us. Most mentally ill people are NOT bat (expletive for poop) crazy.

Just because there are times that you come across someone whose awkwardness or quirkiness makes you uncomfortable, does not not mean that they are mentally ill. There is a problem with labeling actions that we don't understand as mental illness. There is many personality flaws that can be misconstrued as mental disorders. That does not make them so. Just because someone upsets you with their anger management issues or tries to manipulate you, does not mean that they are mentally ill. They could be in need of therapy or just have that kind of personality. Mental illness has to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist. If you are not a psychiatrist then please do the mental illness community a favor and not try to diagnose anyone. It is hurtful and down right annoying. Be aware that people with mental illness are mostly caring, sensitive, and creative people. [tweet this]. That we are working on a daily basis to be better and deal with the hell that mental illness causes in our lives. We are trying and we ask you to do the same. Thank you.
                                              Neurotic Nelly