Saturday, March 8, 2014


Sometimes you feel like you are drowning in a capifony of crap. Sometimes it seems like no matter what you try, everything fails. Everything crumbles to dust. Everything falls to the floor in heaps. Sometimes it seems like you just can not get a head. Sometimes it seems like you are just not cut out for this. Sometimes doubt creeps in and you lose the ability to believe in yourself. Sometimes....

Everyone goes through their own personal trials and tribulations. Everyone has doubts. Everyone has days where they feel like getting out of bed was a mistake. That facing the world is just too much today. Everyone has times where they feel lost, alone, and confused. Everyone....

Crap happens. Whether it is new crap or old crap you have dealt with on a regular basis. It happens and God forbid it feels like hanging around. It can really be exhausting. It can be stinky. It can be an absolute force of sheer willpower just to open up the blinds and feel the sun on your face. Crap happens....

Facts are I have been there, and I will be there again. It's a fact that life is made of beautiful, complicated, painful, confusing things that can take their toll and exhaust the mind. It's a fact that struggling is necessary. For what, I don't know but everyone has their own roads to go down. Their own battles to wage war upon. We are given a choice to bend over or break in half. To move with the wind or against it. To sink and drown or swim and survive. There is no other option. It is try or fail. Do or die. Get up and move or let the word pass you by....

There are no right answers. No cheats in life. No map key to tell you where to go or how to be. It is all trial and error. Sometimes that can be terrifying. It can be daunting. It can be a struggle to believe in oneself. Especially when there are nay sayers running rampant in our lives, pooping on our parade. Making excuses and trying to convince us that we are unable to do what we want or be what we want. Even the most successful people have had people tell them they can't. They won't. They will never.

I would like to put an end to these words. No more damaging words have been said than can't, don't, and  will never. It prevents beliefs. It crushes self esteem. It stops personal momentum cold in it's tracks.

So, now not only do you have enough crap to deal with you are now being told you are not good enough. You can not achieve.

What a load of hooey. Seriously, what do these people have going on in their lives that make them qualified to tell you what you can and can not achieve? I mean, have you ever really sat down and took a really long and hard look at the people that tell you these things? Are they really the happiest most successful individuals on the planet or are they bitter unhappy people? I mean, we should really start considering the source before we let their crap wash over us and hurt our sense of self pride.

I am not here to tell you what to do. My mission is not to tell you the plethora of negative things you have been told all of your lives or had hurled upon you because you are different. I am here to tell you that you are different and that makes you beautiful. You are strong. You are the master of your future. You are a fighter and you can be whatever it is you put your mind to. And it doesn't have to be a CEO of a fortune 500 company. It can be simply being a good mother, a loving husband, a person that has managed after a night gut wrenching flash backs and horrid anxiety to get up in the morning and walk to Starbucks and get a coffee all by yourself. Being successful doesn't mean being rich and living on a yacht somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. It just means getting up and trying. Bending but not breaking. Swimming and not sinking. That is all it means.

I think we have gotten so far from reality in society that we sometime fail to see accomplishments as what they are....getting something done. Nowhere in that description does it say it has to mean something huge or something earth shattering. I just means, you did something. And for people like us, the small things can be more important than the big ones. For people like us the small things are just as validating as being a CEO. For us, it is even more important to feel successful and to believe in ourselves. Because we are worth it. We are deserving of it. Because we matter and it's high time we start believing that. No, I am not here to tell you what every other self loathing critical ass hat has told you, I am here to tell you something you need to know and more importantly something you need to believe. You matter in this world. You have potential. You are worthy.

Anyone else who doesn't see that is either blind, stupid or quite possibly both. And they are not worth one more iota of your time. Let them go be miserable and judgy all by themselves.

I am going to close this post with a request. I request that you stop whatever you are doing (after you finish reading this of course) and go to your mirror or the bathroom mirror at work and you look long and hard at yourself. And when you have felt you have truly seen yourself, I want you to say aloud, I am beautiful. I am strong. I am important. I matter and I am valid. I am successful because I try each and every day. I am worthy.

Because my dear friends, you are.

Neurotic Nelly


  1. Wonderful post.... I am............


  2. Thank you so much Sho and yes you are. You are all of those wonderful things! :)

  3. The mirror, 47 and I hate it. lol


    1. Tim I can understand that. I will be 35 soon. Still everyone should try and tell themselves the good things about themselves since we mostly hear only negative.

    2. Wait until you 62. I did your request but the person looking back used to be so much younger. But despite bipolar depression (or perhaps because of it) I still feel strong and important....just a little older;>)