Tuesday, December 10, 2013

A little Bit Less Judgement.....

So a couple of days ago, the hubby and I were at a store looking for new Christmas ornaments. All my old ones had been lost, damaged, or just in general looked a little wonky. We were discussing which ones we liked and didn't like when I playfully asked why I brought him with me in the first place. He rebutted with because he is the driver.(This is our long running joke.) A sweet old lady behind us chimed in that this was why she left her husband at home. It was somehow brought up that the reason he drives and I do not, is because I am blind in one eye and have almost zero depth perception. Just my luck, this woman was lecturing me on how she has the same issue, and yet she drives just fine....I should try it...blah blah blah. She was really sweet and cute in all the ways little old people are and I am sure she meant nothing bad by her comments. However, I almost felt the need to try and explain to this complete stranger that not only am I legally blind in one eye to the point I run into my own furniture and the walls of my own home, so often, in fact, that I have permanent bruises I can't remember where, when, or why I got them, but I also suffer from OCD. Which is an anxiety disorder. Like I need to be driving around not being able to tell where the two ton vehicle is on the road while trying not to have a panic attack because I think I might have hit someone with my car. Not just out of OCD fear, because I am sure it would do that to me, but because I really wouldn't be able to tell sight wise.  What started as a non-personal conversation with a stranger had somehow taken a left turn into some underlying emotions and possibly judgments on my character. Leaving me scratching my head head as to how in the hell, I went out to buy some cheap glitter slathered balls for my tree and ended up feeling like I needed to defend myself in the Christmas isle at Biglots for God's sake. I mean, it's not like I have to explain myself  to everyone is it? If I say I can't do something, then I think I damn well know what I am talking about. After all, I have known myself for thirty four years and she just met me... Do I need to wear a caution t-shirt explaining all of my "issues" so no one judges me or gives me the old, "well, I can do it, so why can't you" speech"?  What should it say, CAUTION: this person has one blind eye, OCD, and diabetes. Maybe we all need to wear shirts with our issues or diagnoses on them. That way we can all make sure to be ready to lecture others on what they should and shouldn't be able to do. Ugh. Here's a tip, I am not you. I am me, and we are two different people. What works for you may not work for me and that's okay. I mean, there are probably body builder's that are blind in one eye too, that doesn't mean that I also can lift a two hundred pound barbell with one hand just because they can, now does it?

It just reiterates to me that although, I have learned to accept  the things I am not capable of doing, some people haven't. You know what I would like for Christmas? A little bit less of judgment. That would be the best present ever, except for maybe the Doctor Who scarf I got early this year, man I really love that thing....Okay, Okay, a little less judgement would be definitely be the best gift, and I am positive it could be just as warm as any stylish twelve foot scarf.

Neurotic Nelly


  1. Yes, people should judge less unfortunately, it seems like that's all people do anymore. Sucks sometimes!

  2. It does seem like people tend to be really judgy sometimes. It can be really hurtful even if they don't mean it that way. Thank you Savanna:)

  3. Great blog about being judged. I haven't really had strangers do it too my yet but I feel the say when my friends judge me when I try and kat them know I can't do or go somewhere. I try not to blame them because like message they are new to depression dave and so it's an adjustment for all that I have gotten worse and are trying to deals with it by not pretending like I used too. But I have recently written a blog about excuses and how a friend made me feel when he pointed out to me very judgemently that I had created and excuse and after I realised I had made it yes but in hindsight it was the best decision. I doesn't know my thought patterns some helpful just made a judgement an thought he was helping me.
    We all need to keep fighting for more awareness and less stigma and labels, blogs like yours help and I hope in a similar way so does mine.
    Looking forward to reading more.

  4. David, I can totally relate. Some people just don't get it and they actually believe that we are making excuses or just don't want to do things. It can be extremely frustrating! It an really affect relationships because it makes us feel slighted or like we aren't believed. Hopefully your friends will take the time to educate themselves about depression and learn to try and understand what certain situations are like for you. If your blog is on blogger I will add it and follow it. Thank you for your support David:)

    1. That is just one of the reasons I started my blog, I wanted those that are close to me a chance to understand what I go through so hopefully they'll be better educated into mental illness and also be able to deal with me better. I know my friends care and so I want to help them as much as they want to help me.
      Thank you for the follow I've also now followed you and added your blog to my relevant blog sections.
      I appreciate the support and any feedback as it's great to have a strong community that help each other.
      Peace and Love

  5. I think you should have told her you haven't been allowed to drive since you got out of jail for having road rage and running over a nosey old lady who stuck her nose in your business at Wal-Mart last year.

  6. Tracy, that's perfect lol! I so wish I would have thought to say that! Priceless! Lmao

  7. Hey guy's I feel the same but in a different way. I was a alcoholic could not leave the house with out my vodka. I got a DUI on my birthday . I was picking up my 8 year old daughter from school and hit a school bus. Was arrested right there in front of all her friends and teachers. I still to this day can't be around people because I feel they are saying oh they're s that drunk mom.I have been on medication for depression but it really doesn't work for me. It has been 7 years but it's one thing I just can't ever get over
    I've tried therapy but still did not. do anything for me.

  8. Mari, I can understand how ostracized you must feel. It is really hard to get out when you are scared of other's judgments. First off congratulations on getting sober. That is a very hard thing to do. Therapy is wonderful but it cant help if you still feel embarrassed by the incident. I know that AA deals with things like that, not that you need AA, but the do talk about learning how to forgive yourself , acknowledge the things your addiction has made you do, and then learn to move forward. Sometimes it feels like we are stuck in a time or place that is very negative. I hate being judged and I really think it's no one's place to do so. We have all done things that we regret or have issues that make somethings more complicated. Thank you so much Mari and I am sending positive thoughts your way. Just know that I am not judging you and I truly hope you can get relief from this heavy burden you have been carrying around.