So a couple of days ago, the hubby and I were at a store looking for new Christmas ornaments. All my old ones had been lost, damaged, or just in general looked a little wonky. We were discussing which ones we liked and didn't like when I playfully asked why I brought him with me in the first place. He rebutted with because he is the driver.(This is our long running joke.) A sweet old lady behind us chimed in that this was why she left her husband at home. It was somehow brought up that the reason he drives and I do not, is because I am blind in one eye and have almost zero depth perception. Just my luck, this woman was lecturing me on how she has the same issue, and yet she drives just fine....I should try it...blah blah blah. She was really sweet and cute in all the ways little old people are and I am sure she meant nothing bad by her comments. However, I almost felt the need to try and explain to this complete stranger that not only am I legally blind in one eye to the point I run into my own furniture and the walls of my own home, so often, in fact, that I have permanent bruises I can't remember where, when, or why I got them, but I also suffer from OCD. Which is an anxiety disorder. Like I need to be driving around not being able to tell where the two ton vehicle is on the road while trying not to have a panic attack because I think I might have hit someone with my car. Not just out of OCD fear, because I am sure it would do that to me, but because I really wouldn't be able to tell sight wise. What started as a non-personal conversation with a stranger had somehow taken a left turn into some underlying emotions and possibly judgments on my character. Leaving me scratching my head head as to how in the hell, I went out to buy some cheap glitter slathered balls for my tree and ended up feeling like I needed to defend myself in the Christmas isle at Biglots for God's sake. I mean, it's not like I have to explain myself to everyone is it? If I say I can't do something, then I think I damn well know what I am talking about. After all, I have known myself for thirty four years and she just met me... Do I need to wear a caution t-shirt explaining all of my "issues" so no one judges me or gives me the old, "well, I can do it, so why can't you" speech"? What should it say, CAUTION: this person has one blind eye, OCD, and diabetes. Maybe we all need to wear shirts with our issues or diagnoses on them. That way we can all make sure to be ready to lecture others on what they should and shouldn't be able to do. Ugh. Here's a tip, I am not you. I am me, and we are two different people. What works for you may not work for me and that's okay. I mean, there are probably body builder's that are blind in one eye too, that doesn't mean that I also can lift a two hundred pound barbell with one hand just because they can, now does it?
It just reiterates to me that although, I have learned to accept the things I am not capable of doing, some people haven't. You know what I would like for Christmas? A little bit less of judgment. That would be the best present ever, except for maybe the Doctor Who scarf I got early this year, man I really love that thing....Okay, Okay, a little less judgement would be definitely be the best gift, and I am positive it could be just as warm as any stylish twelve foot scarf.